How and When Do I Introduce a New Significant Other to My Children?

How and When Do I Introduce a New Significant Other to My Children?

If you’re considering dating after divorce, then you’re in good company. 65% of women are already dating again within the first year of separating from their former spouse. While dating around is common, what isn’t so common is introducing that new love interest to your kids. 

You, your former spouse, and your children are likely all still recovering and reeling from the divorce process. You’re all working towards finding your own ‘new normal,’ and it will take time for everyone to sift through the emotions that come along with a divorce. With that in mind, it can be a very delicate situation introducing your new love interest to your children.  

Learn what you should do to ensure that your family is ready to meet your new significant other below. First off, you don’t even want to start to consider introducing your new love interest to your children unless you’ve done your due diligence to ensure they are a safe and trustworthy person. You obviously won’t know that a new significant other is any of these things until enough time has passed for them to prove it to you. 

In the meantime, though, consider doing a little investigative research on your own. A criminal background check, for instance, can help reveal any previous convictions on the person’s record. You can also use their public social media profiles to discern whether they seem like a reputable and upright person. Another important thing to consider is how your new significant other really feels about children. Do they have children of their own, or have they dated someone with children before? Is your significant other interested in meeting your children and integrating themselves into your lives? If the person does not show any interest in your kids, then it might be best not to introduce them yet. Continue to focus on letting your relationship grow first. Once the love is there, they’ll start to show signs that they’re ready to meet your kids. 

Next, consider how serious your relationship really is. If you don’t see a serious future with the person, then don’t bother introducing them to your children. You only want your kids to meet people you think have a real chance of staying in your life for the long haul. Also, consider how your kids feel. If the divorce is fresh, then they may get angry and resentful if you bring a new person around right away. What’s more, if your children are younger, they may not really understand why you’re bringing around a new person. Prioritize your relationship with your children, and make sure to respect how they might feel before you decide to introduce them to your new significant other. Talk to your children in an age-appropriate way about dating and find out how they’d feel about you starting to date. 

As you go through these questions, take note of any doubts you feel. When things don’t feel right, just wait. There’s no harm in taking your time to introduce your significant other to your children. You can potentially cause harm to both your children and your relationship by rushing things. If you’ve decided it’s time to meet, then congratulations! To ensure a smooth introduction, consider meeting somewhere neutral and safe for the first time. Go somewhere that your kids will enjoy themselves and have things to do. Don’t put too much pressure on your children and your significant other to interact. Instead, just let everyone enjoy the activity in their own way and work on getting to know each other. 

Ciyou & Associates, P.C. provides comprehensive family law services that cover all stages of the marital and familial life cycle. From pre- and post-nuptial agreements to child custody, divorce litigation and mediation, Ciyou & Associates, P.C. is well versed in family law. The attorneys at Ciyou & Associates, P.C. are experienced in navigating the complexities of family law and will provide personalized counsel that meets your individual needs. We recognize that family law matters can be highly charged with emotion and every situation is unique. Our goal is to guide our clients through the process in a way that preserves as much stability for their family as possible. 


We understand that you may need not only legal advice, but also emotional support during this difficult time. Our attorneys are dedicated to your case and will work with you every step of the way to ensure that your rights and interests are protected. This blog was written by attorneys at Ciyou & Associates, P.C. who handle legal matters and appeals from all of Indiana’s ninety-two (92) counties. It is written for general educational purposes. It is not to be relied upon for any specific legal matter or issues. This blog is not legal advice. It is an advertisement.  


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